Today I don't feel like doing anything. I just wanna lay in my bed.

[lazywater]

WHO: En Yufuin and everyone
WHAT: A furry icicle
WHEN: Day 1
WHERE: Just outside the city
WARNINGS: One lazy asshole discovering the ability Truant

En is very much aware that something is wrong, especially when he wakes up to chilly winds and expanse of white ice instead of white walls and a warm bed, but he's... not exactly sure what to do with this knowledge. Usually, his response to getting kidnapped is screaming and yelling, as most sane people do, but today his body just refuses to move. It's not that it's unusual for him to loaf around, it's just unusual that he's not reacting to something completely different.

He lays on the ice for maybe about ten minutes- during which he only heard his heart beat once per those minutes... was he dead?- before he feels something bubbling in his gut. It's slow to process, but the brown, fuzzy creature sits up and looks at his paws and reflection in the ice. His loveracet was still there... but everything else...

HAGGHHYYYYHHHAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! WHAT IS THIS?

. . . Ah. There it is.

Comments

[thegunsdonothing]

[It's taken...a lot of deep breathing to get over this. Wandering a plane of ice, holding her arms close to her (thankfully) furry body...if she focuses more on being cold, she can forget about the occasionally drooling mouth on her skull.

...

...Or she can focus on that scream.

Instinct tells her to wait-to stay put and wait for further sound, for anything that could tell her what's going on.

But instinct means that things grow silent-until replaced by the soft, slow crunch of ice beneath her feet, as she comes closer...closer...

...

...Is that a sloth she sees around this icy rock???]

[lazywater]

[Since Amanda is watching him and not interacting with him directly, she's going to see a sloth that screams and rolls around on the spot, before it suddenly stops. Then, it pauses for exactly two minutes, loafing around and doing nothing, before it starts screaming again and rolling around.

...

Man who is this loser?]

What the hell? What the hell? I'm a sloth? In an Arctic wasteland? What is this? What is this shit? ARGHHHH!

[thegunsdonothing]

[First thought:

I am dying. I am dying, and these are my low-oxygen induced hallucinations.

Second:

That is a sloth.

A talking sloth.

The third, and more coherent and logical one realizes something else however-

She doesn't look human herself.

Which makes a fair chance that this other one should be human under ordinary circumstances.

That in mind, she steps out once the flailing stops-hopefully he'll be 'loafing around' while she stands there.]

Hey.

Are you alright?

[Answer: NO, but it's good to ask.]

[lazywater]

. . .

What?

[Now that he's loafing around, he can take in the small creature that's been staring at him for the last couple of minutes and...

Um...]

What?

. . . I'm only a sloth, but ma'am, your head is open and drooling out the back. Are YOU okay?

[thegunsdonothing]

[OH GOD WHY DID YOU MENTION THAT-

It's Amanda's turn to flinch and stiffen, locking in place for a good few seconds before responding.

Rudely.] I asked you first-I'm not the one who was rolling around in a panic after all. Do you have any idea how we got here?

[Because 'where' here is, is probably a lost cause.]

[lazywater]

I did answer. I'm a sloth.

... I'm fine... but I'm a sloth.

[He stares at his paws and then his bracelet with the blue love-heart and wings on it, like it caused him some personal offence.]

A sloth.

. . .

Dunno... could have been a monster that sent us to this place while we slept, but I've never seen a monster that can morph people AND warp them before.

[thegunsdonothing]

[....Yeahhhh...]

I think I got the fact that you're a sloth, [she cuts in, frowning.

And...] 'Monster'? Some sort of alien lifeform you mean?

[lazywater]

Yes and no. Mostly no... They're humans turned into monsters because of an alien, if that counts.

[En gives a sigh.]

It's my guess though. It could be some nonsense completely unrelated.

[thegunsdonothing]

[Well that's an appropriate term for something mutated...

The mawile crosses her arms though, frowning.] Whether it's related or not, that doesn't tell us what we're doing here-or what did this.

Did the aliens you encountered endanger lives with their mutations? [Best assumption-yes. But again! Safe to double check on these things, especially since...] If they did, then we might have an entirely bigger matter to worry about.

[lazywater]

Agreed.

[But hey, spectualations and talks about life is what he does best]

Oh? Eh... depends. Some of them were pretty bad like the Kotatsu monster: It caused a lot of trouble by turning strong friendships or loves into hatred equivalent to the relationship before hand. Others were just... eh. Weird. The melon monster just bored people with its riddles that you could look up the answer on the internet. That was just a kind of pitiful monster, honestly. It's hit or miss whether or not it was a threat.

[thegunsdonothing]

[.............

............................................................]

Are you screwing with me here?!

[lazywater]

There was a screw monster, yes. That was another weird one.

. . .

Honestly, I'm really not. I couldn't make this junk up if I tried.

[thegunsdonothing]

Really. [SHE DOESN'T BELIEVE IT...] And that's why everything you've just told me belongs in a kids show, right?

[stoogesofsanfran]

[For some, the abrupt transformation into something else is shocking and confusing. For others, it's Tuesday. For the trio approaching, it seems to be the latter, as all three of them seem more irritated than terrified.]



H-hey, you g-g-g-otta yell?

[The hooded crow that seems to be leading them is talking. And has a hat. And is also shivering with his feathers floofed up hilariously.]



Yeah, we thought there was some kinda monster runnin' around or somethin'.

[Says...the black, humanoid chicken in orange sunglasses. The irony of his statement may or may not be lost on him.]



Hey guys, maybe he's like us. Was you screamin' 'cause you ain't supposed to be some kinda weird animal?

['Weird animal' sort of describes a green rat with a bandage over his nose, right?]

[lazywater]

. . . Y-yeah... This isn't normal.

[He can deal with being a toddler because he was still a human but this is just stupid.]

What the heck are you guys?

[stoogesofsanfran]

[They look at each other, then shrug in unison. They really seem kind of unimpressed.]



W-weird animal things? I d-d-dunno.



They're some kinda giant birds?



Ain't nothin' we've ever seen before, anyways.

[lazywater]

[You gentlemen are way too calm and it's kinda worrying him. Humans turned monsters too?]

At least I'm clearly a sloth. A weird-looking one, but a sloth all the same.

Urk... Okay... do you know where we are?

[stoogesofsanfran]

Pr-probably either really f-far North or r-r-really far S-south.



Sorry pal, these feathers ain't got no GPS.



And we kinda just woke up here.

[lazywater]

Same...

[En loafs around quietly for a moment before he looks up and observes his surroundings.

...]

That's a pretty big city over there, huh?

[stoogesofsanfran]

Wh-who builds a city in a p-place like this?



I dunno, Eskimos?



Ya think we could check it out without, yanno. People freakin' out?

[lazywater]

I'd say it was a ski place or Canada but none of those really make sense.

We should just head in... If Wombat is here, he might have an idea on how to fix this.

[Now watch him slowly try to get to his feet... and fall flat on his face.]

. . . Ow.

[stoogesofsanfran]

[Sorry, Chow's just snickering.]



You okay dere?



Lemme g-guess, first time b-b-bein' something other than h-human?

[lazywater]

Yeah... I'm guessing being monsters is old hat for you guys.

[Owww... Okay... all fours it is. At least he gets to be belly down.]

[stoogesofsanfran]

S-sorta. This is like...the third t-t-time we've been turned into s-something inhuman.



Though usually we ain't quite this freaky.



Aside from when we got turned inta animals by the Monkey Talisman.

[lazywater]

. . . So mystical artefacts and weird technology magic for you too, huh? Nice to know I'm not alone in that department.

My name is En. 'Sup?